Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize