i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
