im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
