Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
