they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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