That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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