One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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