she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
