dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
