Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
