ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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