i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
