he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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