Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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