u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
