so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
