I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drake has all the answers
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
