high people should be assigned attendants
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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