please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
