My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
