don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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