what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
