So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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