Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
NoShamevember. You game?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize