Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
