ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
