Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
