They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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