we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The uberlube is also flammable
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
