you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize