It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dick very happy bro
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
