Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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