I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
