So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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