If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
