So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
