I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
