Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Life is so much better after having sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
