Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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