Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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