You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
