i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Randomize
