you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
