Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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