you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
