i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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