I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
