I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
