Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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