BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
