You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
