i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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