Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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