FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
