Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
