Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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