I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
