my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
