Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
