There was a lot of him and a little penis
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I pour the whiskey from now on
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize