I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
it's like heaven, but drunker
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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