let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
