LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
